Hinata and the Great Glass Elevator
by Kiel667
Summary: Now that she's won the chocolate factory, what's next for Hinata? Three years have past since the events of the first story, and now Hinata, Naruto, and a host of others are off on an adventure with the elustrious chocolate maker once more. Will Hinata be
1. New Beginnings! Wonkasan Goes Too Far!

**1. New Beginnings! Wonka-San Goes Too Far!**

The last time we saw Hinata Hyuuga, she was walking to Ichiraku ramen with Naruto in the light of a sunset. Only a short while before, Wonka-san had told her that the whole gigantic fabulous Chocolate Factory would someday be hers, she had achieved acceptance by her begrudging father, Hiashi Hyuuga, and had reunited Wonka-san with his estranged father (who also just so happened to be Orochimaru).

That, of course, was almost three years ago. By this, I mean that almost three whole years had passed since we had last left Hinata and Naruto; and this is a very long time.

In this time, Hinata Hyuuga had blossomed into a fine, fifteen year old shinobi. Continuing to train with her team, her skills and abilities had increased, making her worthy of succession of the Hyuuga's Main Branch Family. Along with this, she had continued to work with Willy Wonka, helping him to invent a variety of creations.

If all of this good news and happiness weren't enough, there was also something else that made Hinata feel that her life was finally at its happiest:

This, of course, being Naruto Uzumaki's return to Konoha after training with Jiraiya for three years; which Hinata couldn't have been more excited about.

A few months had passed after Naruto's return, and Hinata had decided to meet with him for the day. She had received an invitation from Wonka-san to visit the factory, and decided to invite a few others to tag along. She had decided to invite Naruto and his other teammates.

It was early in the morning as Hinata waited along the streets of Konoha for them to arrive. Soon she could see a familiar shape bounding along in the distance.

"Oi! Hinata-chan!" Naruto called out to her as he began to cross a bridge to her. Hinata waved to him as he approached, shying away a little. Her heart began to race as he drew nearer. Despite how close they had come before Naruto had left Konoha to train, after such a long time Hinata found she was as nervous and uneasy as ever; her fingers fidgeting.

"N-Naruto-kun…" Hinata stammered as arrived, "I-I'm glad you c-could make it."

"I'm glad you invited me!" He grinned, "I would never pass up an opportunity to see the factory again…" he trailed off a little, staring down at Hinata, "Hey, you look really nice! Your new clothes…"

Hinata blushed furiously; her arms moving up to her new, darker coat. In the three years that had past, the two of them had both changed drastically in appearance. Hinata felt her now much longer hair brush against her neck. She looked up to Naruto, who sported a much more mature looking style of orange and black; but above all else, he was much taller than she ever remembered.

"Thank you…N-Naruto." She managed, blushing. "I-I thought you were bringing the rest of your team to c-come along today. I-Is it going to be…j-just the two of us" she asked carefully. While she had wanted to get to know the rest of Team Seven under Kakashi-sensei better, she couldn't help but hope that the two of them would be able to be alone together. After all, three years is a long time apart.

"Oh? You mean Sakura-chan and Sai?" Naruto smiled, rubbing his nose, "They're right behind me." He pointed to the small bridge he had just crossed, and, sure enough, two figures began to make their way over it. "Eh heh…I kinda left them in the dust…I hope they're not too mad."

Sakura was dressed in a red vest-shirt and black shorts; her usual attire. Another boy with short black hair, tight black clothing, and an odd smile followed her closely. Hinata assumed this was the "Sai" person Naruto had mentioned.

As soon as Sakura caught up with the two, she took a moment to smack Naruto upside the head, sending him sprawling.

"Oi! Naruto-baka! What do you think you're playing at, leaving us behind like that? You could have waited you know!" she said angrily, then, changing her expression completely, turned and smiled at Hinata. "It's good to see you again Hinata-san. Thank you for inviting us to come with you."

She nudged Sai, who bowed and continued to wear his odd grin. "We are…very grateful…" he said awkwardly. Hinata had only heard about Sai from the bits and pieces of information Naruto had given her, but had never met him before. He was supposed to be Sasuke Uchiha's replacement for Team Seven, but Hinata couldn't help but notice how he was somehow similar to Sasuke. The only major difference (and a welcome one at that) was his constant smile.

"S-Sakura-chan! That was mean," Naruto grumbled as he massaged his bruised everything, "Hey, Hinata, where's Wonka-san? I thought he was supposed to meet us hear to pick us up or something."

"I-I don't know…he should be here by now." Hinata had received a letter from Wonka-san not too long ago, instructing them to meet him just off of the small bridge on the way to Konohagakure's main gate in the morning.

But it was nearly the afternoon now.

"Ne, what's this Wonka person like in person? You two know him the best." Sakura asked Naruto and Hinata.

Hinata smiled, "H-he's a wonderful person…he's kind and generous…"

"A total genius at chocolate making…" Naruto continued.

"He's m-magnificent…"

"He's amazing"

"He's spectacular!"

"He's stupendously charming, outrageously witty, and a snappy dresser too…" said a voice from behind all of them, "He's also a champion squash player and devilishly handsome. Did I mention he was single? I should have. Make sure to tell your lady friends."

"Wonka-san!" Hinata cried out as she turned around to face the man. Even though almost three years had past, Wonka-san didn't look as if he had aged a day. He wore a velvet, plum coloured coat and a bottle green vest. His soft, chocolate-brown hair fell neatly along the sides of his head, and atop it laid a tall black top hat. Wonka's shimmering eyes were filled with energy as he looked upon everyone.

"Hinata! Oh, very cute!" he grinned, sizing her up in her new clothes. "You're shaping up to be a fine young woman, and I don't just mean your clothes; you're filling out quite nicely as well. You look absolutely nothing like your father, which is very lucky for you I must say." He winked, causing her to blush profusely.

"And you!" he cried, ringing Naruto's hand, "You're positively ginourmous! Much taller than before! I'm sure you've gotten brighter too. Positively fabulous to be seeing you again my boy!"

"And you two!" he said, moving towards Sakura and Sai, "Why you've…" he put a hand to his chin, "…actually…who are you two? We've never met." Wonka clapped his hands together. "Introductions are in order I believe."

Naruto stepped over, "Ah, these are my two teammates."

"I'm Sakura Haruno. Pleased to meet you, Wonka-san" Sakura smiled, bowing to the man, "I've heard many interesting things about you." Wonka reached over and took her hand.

"I see," he said. "I'm glad. Pleasure to meet you, overjoyed, enthralled, enchanted, and a couple other good words starting with the letter 'E'. Now, who might you be?" he asked, looking to Sai.

Sai continued to smile, "I am called Sai. It is…good to meet you." Hinata couldn't help but notice how awkward Sai's speech sounded. His expression began to change, showing a hint of confusion as Wonka-san shook his hand. She felt Naruto nudge her.

"Hinata-chan, I should tell you…" he whispered in her ear, "…Sai isn't able to express emotions the way other people do. He was a secret member of the ANBU since he was little, so don't mind him if he acts a little odd." Hinata nodded, not quite understanding what Naruto meant.

"I have also heard much about you…" Sai said to Wonka-san, "…Mr. Tall Hat man…" he grinned. Wonka-san gave him an odd look.

Naruto and Sakura both cringed. "I forgot to mention…Sai's gotten into the habit of giving everyone he meets nicknames based on their appearance." Naruto whispered to Hinata.

Wonka-san gave Sai a half smile. "You're a pretty interesting guy, aren't you? I'm sure we'll get along famously! Ooh, speaking of which…" he turned around, "We'd better stop dilly dallying around. I've got something extraordinary to show the lot of you!" he began to make his way forward.

"How're we getting there, Wonka-san?" Sakura asked. "Your factory is all the way on the other side of the village. It'll take us at least the rest of the afternoon to make it all the way up there."

Wonka only smiled. "That's true, but we won't be walking. Heavens no, that'd take far too long. This is precisely why I brought the great glass elevator to help speed things alo-" and at that precise moment he had turned around and walked into something, knocking him over. Hinata, of course, recognized it immediately as the same fantastic elevator that she and Naruto had rode in years ago.

"-speed things along…" Wonka said, regaining his composure. "…I really should watch where I park this thing. Okay, everybody inside. We've got so much time and so little to do!"

Sakura stepped into the large glass elevator first. "What exactly is this thing? How come we didn't hear you arrive in it?"

"Well…that's because it's got a new 'whisper quiet' function. Now come on, everybody squeeze in." Wonka said, ushering them all inside.

Hinata felt along the smooth, glass surface of the transparent elevator, remembering her adventure three years ago. The elevator was positively amazing. She remembered how it could go in any direction; even if it defied gravity. She looked across to Naruto, who seemed to be trying his best to explain to Sakura and Sai how they were going to travel a great distance in what seemed to be an enormous glass box.

"Well…it's like…um, it can do anything. It can go up, down, backways, frontways, sideways, um…slantways? It can fly and everything! Believe it!" he said to them, still a little fuzzy on the concept.

"Believe it? Of course you'll believe it." Wonka-san said excitedly, "We're just about ready to go! Everybody hold on!" He pushed a button across from him, sending the elevator whooshing into the sky with a tremendous WHOOSH! Sai and Sakura crumpled to the ground in a heap. Naruto and Hinata grinned at each other, having learned by this point to hold on to things very tightly.

The great glass elevator had rose to almost a thousand feet up and cruising nicely. The sky above Konoha, and the entire Fire Country, was a brilliant blue. Naruto and Hinata helped Sakura and Sai back onto their feet as they all rocketed upwards.

"What in the world keeps this thing up in the air?" asked Sakura.

"Skyhooks" said Wonka-san.

"You amaze me," said Sai.

"My dear boy," said Wonka-san, "You are new to the scene. When you've been with us a little longer, nothing will amaze you."

"These skyhooks," said Sakura as she regained her footing, "I assume one end is hooked onto this contraption we're riding in. Right?"

"Right" said Wonka-san.

"But then, what's the other end hooked onto?" asked Sakura.

"Y'know, everyday," replied Wonka-san, "I get a little deafer. Remind me to see a doctor soon after we get back. Besides, you strike me as a mumbler to be honest."

Sakura made a face, and then leaned over to Naruto. "Oi, I don't think I trust this guy very much…he's really weird."

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto whined, "Wonka-san is a genius. He knows exactly what he's doing. C'mon, don't spoil this."

"Alrighty then! We mustn't dilly or dally! We've got to go up even higher!" Wonka-san cried. Almost everyone gasped.

"Higher! We're thousands of feet above the ground!" Sakura said, "How much higher can we possibly go!"

"Much higher! Way _way _higher!" he replied. He pushed a small brown button across from him. The elevator shuddered, and then with a fearful whooshing noise it shot vertically upward like a rocket. Everybody clutched hold of everybody else and as the great machine gathered speed, the rushing whooshing sound of the wind outside grew louder and louder and shriller and shriller until it became a piercing shriek. Hinata found the only way to be heard above the terrible sound was to shout.

"Stop!" Sakura shouted, "We're going way too fast!"

"No no!" Wonka-san yelled back, "We've got to go up even farther!"

"But why?" Sai asked.

"Because the higher we are when we start coming down, the faster we'll be going when we hit," said Wonka, "We've got to be going at a tremendously sizzling speed when we hit!"

"When we hit _what!_" everyone cried.

"The factory of course," replied Wonka, "If we don't build up enough speed, we'll never break through the roof."

"Break through the roof! You're crazy!" Sakura shouted, "We'll be scrambled like eggs!"

"Well, you know, that's a chance I'm willing to have all of you take. Tee hee." He giggled a little. Sakura turned white as a sheet.

"W-Wonka-san, you've g-got to be joking!" Hinata said quickly.

"Hinata, I never joke," He replied, "…well, except for that one joke I told last week…and those few I told a while ago. Oh, and have you heard the one about how a genin, a chuunin, and a missing nin all walk into a bar? It's priceless!"

Sakura's face changed several different colours before deciding on a pasty grey. She looked as if she was about to freak out. Sai merely continued to smile in a bemused fashion, obviously completely unaware of the danger they may have been in. Only Hinata and Naruto seemed reasonably calm; each holding each other's hand, smiling a little at each other. But as the great glass elevator continued to streak upward, farther and farther away from the earth below them, even Naruto and Hinata began to grow a bit nervous.

Higher and higher rushed the great glass elevator until soon they could see the countries and oceans of the world spread out below them like a map. It was all very beautiful, but when you are standing on a glass floor looking down, it gives you a nasty feeling. Even Hinata was beginning to feel frightened now. She hung on tightly to Naruto, looking anxiously into his eyes. "Naruto, I'm s-scared."

Naruto wrapped an arm around Hinata's shoulders and held her close. "I'm as little scared myself…" he whispered to her.

"W-Wonka-san! Don't you think this is h-high enough?" Hinata shouted.

"Very nearly," Wonka-san answered. "But not quite. Don't talk now please. Don't disturb me. I must watch things very carefully at this stage. Split second timing, Hinata, that's what it's got to be. You see this green button? I must press it at exactly the right instant. If I'm just a half a second too early or too late, then we'll go _too high!_"

"What happens if we go too high?" Naruto asked, worried.

"Um, okay, please stop talking. Didn't I just say I need total concentration?" Wonka-san said.

At that precise moment, Sakura peered down from where she was standing. Through the glass floor she saw the entire continent which contained the Fire Country nearly three hundred kilometers below and looking no bigger than a piece of candy. "This is _way too insane!_" She shrieked. Panicking, she grabbed at Wonka-san, pulling on his coat. "Way too high! Way too high! You gotta' do something!"

"No, no," cried Wonka-san, struggling to free himself. "Let me go! I have to be in control! Please, don't disturb the pilot! That's me, by the way!"

"You're crazy!" shrieked Sakura, shaking Wonka-san so fast that his head became a blur.

"Let me go!" he cried, "I've got to press that button over there or else we'll go too high! Hinata! Press the button! The green one, quick!" he called out.

Hinata leaped across the elevator and banged her thumb down on the green button. But as he did so, the elevator gave a mighty groan and rolled over onto its side, and the rushing whooshing noise stopped altogether and an eerie silence took its place.

"Oh bother…" Wonka-san said calmly, "Oh snap…this might not be good." As he spoke, the four ninja along with Wonka-san began to gently lift off of the floor and hung suspended in midair. Hinata clutched onto Naruto as the two, along with everyone else, began to float around like balloons inside the great glass elevator.

"What happened?" Sakura called out, bobbing along.

"Did we go too far?" Hinata asked.

Wonka-san wore a somewhat confudled expression. "Yeah, I'd say that about sums it up. Do you know where we are, dear children? We've gone into orbit!"

They all gasped, they gaped, and they stared. Only Naruto looked confused. "Okay, but how does that explain why we're all floating like this!"

Nearly everyone gave him a look. "Y-you don't know what 'orbit' means, do you?" Sakura asked sarcastically.

"Well…no." Naruto chuckled. "I figured you'd explain it to me later."

"I can't breath! I'm choking." Sai said suddenly, gagging.

"Well of course you can't, silly. There's no air in space." Wonka-san pushed a button nearby labeled 'Oxygen'. "You'll be alright now. Breath away."

"This is the w-weirdest feeling," Hinata said, swimming about. "I feel like a bubble."

"It's great," said Naruto. "It feels as though I don't weigh anything at all."

"You don't," said Wonka-san, "none of us weighs anything. Not even an ounce! Things are weightless in space."

For a few moments, all of them tried to get their bearings, floating about within the great glass elevator. Hinata laughed a little, watching Sakura chase Naruto about, followed by Sai, as they floated along.

She found it oddly amusing that, while she was pretty sure they were in mortal peril, they were still having a pretty good time.


	2. Space Hotel USA

_Author's Note:_

_I'm pleased with the positive feedback I've gotten from people who read and reviewed my last fic; "Hinata and the Chocolate Factory". This sequel is for them more than anything. Like the previous story, it keeps fairly close to the original Roald Dahl work. It does, however, deviate from the original in order for lots of great Kishimoto Masashi moments of comedy and action. I hope you'll approve._

**2. Space Hotel "U.S.A."**

Wonka-san's great glass elevator was not the only thing orbiting the planet at that particular time. Eight months prior, a large group of emigrants from various countries had formed to create their own country. It was to be a nation apart from the more traditional values of shinobi and ninjutsu, instead focusing on having its people lead comfortable lives through advancements in technology. These people declared themselves 'Patriots', and formed their own country.

That country was named 'Amerika'.

Not too long ago, Amerika had successfully launched its first 'Space Hotel', a gigantic sausage-shaped capsule no less than one thousand feet long. It was christened Space Hotel "Yoo Esu Aeh", but was abbreviated to U.S.A. and was truly a marvel of Amerika's vast and altogether sudden might and prowess. The 'Amerikans' (as they preferred to be called) were decadent people who wished only to extend the hand of their power and luxury to others if it meant making a profit. It seemed money was the key motivator for these new powers among shinobi.

The Space hotel had inside it a tennis court, a swimming pool, a gymnasium, a children's playroom and five hundred luxury bedrooms, each with a private bath. It was fully air-conditioned. It was also equipped with a gravity making machine so that you didn't float about inside of it. You could walk normally.

This extraordinary object was now speeding round and round the planet at a height of two hundred and forty kilometers. Guests were to be taken up and down by a taxi service of commuter capsules blasting off from Amerika's very own launch site, 'Keipu Kenedi' every hour on the hour, Monday through Friday. But as yet there was no one on board, not even an Amerikan spacewoman (It was decided that women made the best space people, as the Amerikan men tended to lose their heads in space, trying to venture off to the moon or some other far off planet in a feeling of machoism and bravado like some action movie star). The reason for it being empty was that no one in any of the countries had really believed such a thing was possible. It was widely believed the enormous space hotel would never get up off the ground without blowing up.

But the launching had been a great success and now the Space Hotel was safely in orbit, there was a tremendous hustle and bustle to send up the first guests. It was rumoured that the leader of Amerika, known as the 'President', herself would be among the first to stay in the hotel, and of course there was a mad rush by all sorts of other people across the world to book rooms. Several feudal lords had sent messages to the Amerikan house of leadership, known as a 'White House', for reservations. Invitations had been extended to the five Kages of the five biggest shinobi villages as well.

But you cannot send guests to a hotel unless there are lots of people there to look after them, and that explains why there was yet another interesting object orbiting the planet at that moment. This was a large Commuter Capsule containing the entire staff for the Space Hotel U.S.A. There were managers, assistant managers, desk clerks, waitresses, bellhops, chambermaids, pastry chefs, and all sorts of other staff. The capsule they were traveling in was manned by three famous Amerikan astronauts with very Amerikan names. They were Shuckworth, Shanks, and Showler. All of them were very white, very thin, and very, very blonde; as was deemed to be the height of beauty in Amerika. Because of this, they were considered some of the most clever and brave of all their astronauts.

"In exactly one hour," said Shuckworth, speaking to the passengers over the loud speaker, "we shall link up with Space Hotel U.S.A., your happy home for, like, the next ten years. And any moment now, if you look straight ahead, you should catch your first glimpse of this magnificent spaceship. Ah-ha! I see something there! That must be it, folks! There's definitely something up there ahead of us."

Shuckworth, Shanks and Showler, as well as managers, assistant managers, desk clerks, waitresses, bellhops, chambermaids, pastry chefs, and all sorts of other staff, all stared excitedly out their windows. Shuckworth fired a couple of small rockets to make the capsule go faster, and they began to catch up very quickly.

"Oi!" yelled Showler, "That isn't our Space Hotel."

"Holy rats!" cried Shanks, "what in the name of Swartzeneggar's ghost is that!"

"Quick! Give me your telescope!" yelled Shuckworth. With one hand, he focused the telescope and with the other he flipped the switch connecting him with Ground Control.

"Ground Control, do you read me?" he cried into the microphone, "There's something crazy going on here. There's a thing orbiting ahead of us and it's not like any spaceship I've ever seen before, that's for sure."

"Describe it at once," ordered Ground Control back in Amerika.

"It's…it's made of glass and it's kind of square and it's got a bunch of people inside of it! They're all floating about like fish in a tank!"

"How many astronauts are aboard?"

"None," said Shuckworth, "They can't possibly be astronauts."

"What makes you say that?"

"Because a bunch of them look like teenagers!"

"Don't be a fool, Shuckworth!" snapped Ground Control, "Pull yourself together, woman! This is serious!"

"I swear it!" cried poor Shuckworth, who was getting quite worked up. "There are four of them who don't look much older than maybe sixteen. Two girls and two boys! There's another fellow too, but it looks like he's wearing a top hat! A top hat in space!"

"You've gone mad, Shuckworth," shouted Ground Control. "You're fired! Give me Shanks!"

"Shanks speaking," said Shanks, "now listen here, Ground Control. There's four teenage looking people floating around in this crazy glass box and there's this funny little guy wearing a black top hat and a plum coloured velvet tailcoat and bottle green pants…"

"Stop!" screamed Ground Control.

"Hold the phone!" said Shanks, "I think I can make out something else. It looks like the teenage kids are wearing some kind of shiny headbands. Maybe they're in some kind of band, perhaps?"

"Those aren't headbands, you idiot!" shouted Ground Control. "That's got to be some sort of space helmet apparatus or something! They're all astronauts in disguise!"

"But who _are_ they?" cried Shanks.

"How the hell would I know?" said Ground Control. "Are they heading for our Space Hotel?"

"That's exactly where they are heading." Cried Shanks, her hair askew underneath her helmet, "I can see the space hotel about a kilometer ahead!"

"They're going to blow it up!" yelled Ground Control. "This is desperate! This is…" Suddenly his voice was cut off and Shanks heard another quite different voice in her earphones. It was deep and authoritative, yet unmistakably feminine.

"I'll take charge of this," said the deep authoritative voice. "Are you there, Shanks?"

"Of course I'm here," said Shanks. "But how dare you butt in! Keep your big nose out of this! Who are you anyway?"

"This is the President of Amerika," said the voice.

"Feh, and this is the Yondaime Hokage," said Shanks in a mocking tone. "Who do you think you're kidding?"

"Cut the crap, Shanks!" snapped the President. "This is a national emergency!"

"Good grief!" said Shanks, turning to Shuckworth and Showler. "It really _is _the President! It's President Giriguraso, herself! Well, _konichi wa, _President-sama. How are you today?"

"How many people are in that glass capsule?" rasped the President.

"Five," said Shanks, "all floating."

"_Floating!_"

"We're outside the pull of gravity here, President-sama. Everything floats."

"Of course I know that!" said the President, "What else can you tell me?"

"Well," Shanks continued, "There are four people who look a lot like teenagers. They're still too far away to make out, but it looks like they're wearing really colourful clothing…Oooh, one of them has blonde hair!"

"Blonde hair!" The president yelled. "Then they're Amerikan! Shanks, do we have any other astronauts up there aside from you three?"

"No maim. Wait, one of them seems to have pink hair as well. Brilliantly bright pink hair!"

"You must be loopy, Shanks!" declared the President, "Pink hair is impossible! You're dotty as a doughnut! Let me talk to Showler! You're fired along with Shuckworth!"

"Showler here!" said Showler as she took the microphone from Shanks, who began to cry. "It's a great honour to talk with you, President-sama!"

"Oh shut up!" said the President. "Just tell me what you see."

"Well, they're teenagers all right. I've got a better view of them now. They look almost like ninja maim. They've got what look like forehead protectors and-"

"NINJA!" screamed the president, "They're not ninja, you driveling thickwit! Ninja can't come to space! Only astronauts can! Didn't they teach you anything in space camp! They're trying to blow up the Space Hotel! They must have some kind of…destructive weapons that could…um…destroy things on a _mass_ scale! Yeah! They're going to blow up our magnificent Space Hotel!"

"Who's _they, _President-sama?" asked Showler.

"Don't talk so much and let me think!" said the President. There were a few moments of silence. Showler waited tensely. So did Shanks and Shuckworth, who were both still sniffling. So did the managers, assistant managers, desk clerks, waitresses, bellhops, chambermaids, pastry chefs, and all sorts of other staff. And down in the huge room at Ground Control in the Country of Amerika, one hundred controllers sat motionless in front of their dials and monitors, waiting to see what orders the President would give to the astronauts.

"I've just thought of something," said the President. "Don't you have a television camera set up there on the front of your spacecraft, Showler?"

"Sure do, President-sama."

"Then switch it on, you nit, and let all of us down here get a good look at this object!"

"Ah! I never thought of that," said Showler. "No _wonder_ you're the President. Here goes!" He reached out and switched on the TV camera in the nose of the Commuter Capsule, and at that moment, millions of people all over the world who had been listening in on their radios rushed to their television sets.

On their screens they saw exactly what Shuckworth and Shanks and Showler were seeing: A weird glass box in splendid orbit around the planet, and inside the box, seen not too clearly but seen nonetheless, were four teenagers in odd clothing and an oddly dressed, funny little man. And far off in the distance, beyond the glass box, the TV watchers could see the enormous, glistening, silvery shape of the Space Hotel U.S.A.

But it was the sinister glass box itself that everyone was staring at, and the cargo of sinister creatures inside of it: five astronauts so tough and strong they didn't even need to bother wearing spacesuits. Who were these people and where did they come from? What in heaven's name was that glass box? The President had said these people were carrying some kind of bomb, but what were they going to do with it? All across Amerika and the Wind Country and the Fire Country and everywhere else in the world, a kind of panic began to take hold of the television watchers.

"Keep clear of them, Showler!" ordered the President over the radio link.

"Sure will, President-sama!" Showler answered, "I _sure _will!"

* * *

Meanwhile, on the opposite side of the Commuter Capsule, in a very, _very _dark and very cramped room, two people hid themselves.

Because it was so very dark, you couldn't see their faces, or their bodies, or anything else about them. The only reason you could tell there were people there at all was because you could hear them breathing and muttering to each other.

Another distinguishing feature about these two was that one of them was taller than the other.

"How much longer until we reach the Space Hotel?" asked the tall one.

"Not long." Replied the short one.

"Good. As soon as we link up, we'll move out of sight, and then begin our mission."

"Indeed…"


	3. Precarious Situation! The Link Up!

_Author's Note:_

_I apologize for the delay in the release of this chapter. Life's been busy. Thanks for all the reviews so far. I've included the bits about 'Amerika' as they were in the original Great Glass Elevator, but they've been changed in order to remain in context with the world of Naruto…which I hope works out. Thanks again for reading._

**3. Precarious Situation! The Link Up!**

Inside the great glass elevator there was also a good deal of excitement. Hinata and all the others could see clearly the huge silvery shape of Space Hotel U.S.A. about a kilometer ahead of them. Behind them was the smaller (but still pretty enormous) Commuter Capsule. The great glass elevator (not looking at all great now beside these two monsters) was in the middle.

Everybody, it seemed, knew exactly what was going on. They knew the three astronauts in charge of the Commuter Capsule were named Shuckworth, Shanks, and Showler. The whole world knew about these things. Newspapers and television had been shouting about almost nothing else for the past few months. The development of the Amerika Country and its Space Hotel was a landmark event.

Everyone knew this…except Naruto Uzumaki.

"Oi!" He shouted, pointing and gaping at the enormous silvery thing in front of him, "What the hell is that thing! Is it some kind of space monster! _What the hell!_" he began to get very distraught and panicked.

"What do you mean 'what the hell is that'?" Sakura slapped him upside the head. "That's gotta be the famous Space Hotel the Amerika-jins built. Haven't you been paying attention to anything lately!"

"Spasu…hoteru?" Naruto fumbled, looking even more confused. "I haven't heard anything about something like this!"

"S-Sakura-san…" Hinata interrupted. "N-Naruto-kun wouldn't know…i-it all began while he was away t-training with Jiraiya. He w-wouldn't know about it yet."

"Oh…really?" Sakura replied, understanding. She began to explain how the country of Amerika had been founded by emigrants from other countries, and their subsequent development of space-faring hotels. Despite a lengthy explanation, Naruto still looked quite confused.

"What a load of luck!" cried Wonka-san. "We've landed ourselves slap in the middle of the biggest space opera of all time!"

"It looks to me like we're slap in the middle of a huge mess!" Naruto wheezed.

"C'mon!" yelled Sakura, "We've got to watch it now! This is history in the making you know!"

Wonka-san then floated right up close to Hinata. "Psst, hey. Let's beat them to it, Hinata," he whispered, "Why not get there first and board the space hotel ourselves!"

Hinata gasped. Then she gulped. Then she said softly, "I-It's impossible. You've g-got to have all sorts of s-special gadgets to link up with something like that, d-don't you?"

"Um, yeah!" he replied sarcastically. "But, I mean, the great glass elevator's got tons of gadgetry to get us through! We could link up to a crocodile if we wanted to! Although…" he grimaced, "…I'd rather not try that one. C'mon…let's boogie!"

"Naruto-kun!" cried Hinata, "Did you hear that? We're g-going to link up to the space hotel and go on board!"

Naruto grinned. "Yeah! What an awesome idea Wonka-san, believe it!"

"Oh I believe it…" Wonka-san smiled, "…but that saying is a little odd. Is it some sort of new catch phrase? I'm not too fond of it myself. Either way, off we go then Hinata! But wait…"

Wonka-san suddenly looked a bit perplexed. "…this is a very tricky maneuver. I'm thinking I could use a bit of help here. We have to push a lot of buttons, all in different parts of the elevator. Now, I'm gonna take the buttons on the left side of the elevator; the white and black ones." Wonka-san made a funny blowing noise and glided effortlessly across the elevator to the other side. "Naruto, if you would, please position yourself beside that silver button there…yes, that's the one. Hinata, go up and stay floating beside that little golden button near the ceiling. Now, each of these buttons controls a very important series of booster rockets from different places outside of the elevator. That's how we change direction. Naruto's turn us to the right. Hinata's turn us to the left. Mine make us go higher or lower and faster or slower. All ready?"

"No! Wait!" cried Hinata, who was floating exactly midway between the floor and ceiling. "H-how do I get up? I-I can't get to the ceiling!" she was trashing her arms and legs nervously , like a drowning swimmer, but getting nowhere.

"Okay, yeah…" Wonka-san sighed, "This isn't water, so you can't exactly swim in it. You've got to propel yourself along by blowing with your mouth. Watch me. You take, like, a big breath of air, then you blow it out in the opposite direction you wish to go. See, neato!"

Soon everyone began practicing this business of flying about, and the whole elevator was filled with the blowings and snortings of the passengers. Sakura, who was taking in exceptional amounts of air, was rocketing along, flying from one side of the elevator to another. "Uwah! Out of my way! I can't stop!" she cried, bumping into people along the way.

You may wonder, of course, what the millions of people down on the planet were thinking as they watched all of this on their television screens. You must realize that they couldn't see things very well. Even so, the watchers below could see them buzzing about wildly like insects in a glass box.

"What in the world are they doing!" shouted the President of the country of Amerika, staring at the screen.

"Looks like some kind of war dance, President-sama," answered astronaut Showler over the radio.

"You mean they're savages!" said the President.

"I didn't say that sir."

"Oh yes you did, Showler."

"Oh no I didn't, President-sama"

"Silence!" barked the President, "You're muddling me up."

Meanwhile, back on the elevator, the group was still having a marvelous time trying to move themselves along without the use of gravity. This ended up involving a fair amount of raspberry sounding noises and very funny faces. After much delay, Hinata said "All set, Wonka-san" as she settled near the ceiling of the elevator.

"Fantastic! Now, being the most senior type person, I'll give the orders." He replied. "I'll be your captain…YARRR…Now, don't go firing those booster rockets until I say so." Wonka-san pressed one of his own two buttons and the elevator leaped forward, but lurched suddenly to the right! "Hard a-port!" yelled Wonka-san. Snapping to it, Hinata pushed her button. Her rockets fired. The elevator swung back into line.

"Phew…that was close" Naruto sighed as they rocketed along towards the Space Hotel. Wonka-san pointed over towards it, telling them the docking port was just ahead.

To Hinata, it felt rather as though she were in a tiny boat underneath the stern of the biggest ship in the world. The Space Hotel towered over them. It was enormous. "I-I can't wait," she thought, "to get inside and see what it's like."

* * *

Back in the very dark and very cramped room on the opposite side of the Commuter Capsule, the two obscured people continued their conversing.

"How much longer again?" the tall one asked.

"We should have arrived by now…there must have been a delay." The shorter one replied.

The tall one groaned. "We've been stuck here for hours! It's uncomfortable! It's dark! And above all else, it's smelly!"

The short one merely nodded. "It shouldn't take much longer…remember the mission."

"Yeah yeah…"


	4. The President

**4. The President**

Half a kilometre back, Shuckworth, Shanks, and Showler were keeping their television camera aimed all the time at the glass elevator. All across the world, millions and millions of people were clustered together around their television screens, tensely watching the drama being acted out two hundred and forty kilometres above them (Even the folks inside the Konohagakure watched with tension, somehow not recognising their own villagers. As I said before, it _was _a really small picture; the people inside the glass box looking no bigger than ants.)

In her study in the capital building of Amerikan politics and governing, called the 'White House' (because of the marvellous white paint it had been painted with), sat Ranserotu L. Girigurasu, President of the country of Amerika, and at this very moment, with perhaps the exclusion of the five Kage, the most powerful woman on the planet.

In this moment of crisis, all her most important advisers had been summoned urgently to her presence, and there they all were now, following closely on the giant television screen every move made by this dangerous looking capsule and its five desperate looking astronauts. The entire Cabinet was present:

The Chief of the Army was there, along with four other generals. There was the Chief of the Navy, who was pretty much useless in position as Amerika had no Navy to speak of (The country was completely landlocked). There was also an exotic sword swallower from the Wind Country, who happened to be the President's best friend. There was the President's Chief Financial Advisor, who was standing in the middle of the room trying to balance the budget on top of his head, but it kept falling off.

Standing nearest to the President was the Vice President, a huge lady of eighty-nine with a whiskery chin. She had been the President's nurse when she was a baby and everybody refered to her as Oba-san. Oba-san was the power behind the President's proverbial throne. She stood no nonsense. Some people said she as strict with the president now as she had been when she was a little girl. She was the terror of the White House and even the head of the Amerikan A.N.B.U. organization (renamed the F.B.I. as to distance itself from anything resembling a ninja power) broke into a sweat when summoned to her presence.

Also, the President's famous cat, Mister Maru-chan, was also in the room.

There was absolute silence now in the Presidential study. All eyes were riveted on the TV screen as the small glass object, with its booster rockets firing, slid smoothly up behind the giant Space Hotel.

"They're going to link up!" Shouted the President. "they're going to board our Space Hotel!"

"They're going to blow it up!" cried the Chief of the Army. "Let's blow _them _up first! Crash bang wallop band-bang-bang-bang-bang!" he said making very violent gestures. "Come on, Ms. P.," he said, "Let's have some really super-duper explosions!"

"_Urusei!_ Shut up, you silly boy!" said Oba-san, and the Chief of the Army slunk into a corner.

"Listen," said the President. "The point is this. _Who are they? Where do they come from?_ I was pretty sure that we were the only people on this continent with space travel technology! Where's my chief spy!"

"Here, maim, President-sama, maim" said the Chief Spy. He had a false mustache, a false beard, false eyelashes, false teeth, and a falsetto voice.

"Thank goodness." The President sighed, "Now, we cannot misunderestimate this situation any longer. I need to know who is up there in that space capsule!"

"Well, there are several possibilities…" the Chief Spy said. "Listen. We have just launched the finest hotel in the world. Right?"

"Right."

"And who is so madly jealous of this wonderful hotel of ours that he wants to blow it up?"

"Um…everybody?" said the President.

"Close…" said the Chief Spy, "…but be more specific."

"Well," said the President, thinking deeply. "In that case, could it not perhaps be some other hotel owner who is envious of our lovely hotel?"

"Brilliant!" cried the Chief Spy. "Go on, maim! You're getting warm!"

"It's the ones from the Fire country!"

"Getting close, maim."

"It's…It's…"

"Yes, you're very warm now!"

"It must be the Akatsuki!" he proclaimed.

The Chief Spy faultered. "N-No…President-sama…how could it be them?"

"No, it _must _be! Those no good gang of rogue ninja must be trying to start up their own _hotel business!_"

"President-sama…" the Chief Spy sighed, "…that's not even plausible…"

"Of _course _it is!" she laughed, "Good work, Chief Spy! We're getting close now!" she then reached for a telephone, "Quick, get me the leader of the Hidden Sand village. He was one of the last ones to see the Akatsuki. He'll be able to give us information!"

After a few moments of dialing, a voice answered. "Hai, Kazekage of the Hidden Sand Village's office. How may I help you?"

"Is this the Kazekage?" asked the President.

"No," said the voice, "I'm the Godaime's assistant and sister, Tayuya. President-san from Amerika?"

The President scowled. "Listen here! I need to speak with the Kazekage immediately! Put him on the line!"

Tayuya sighed. "I'm afraid he can't come to the phone right now. It's the Kazekage's personal sandcastle building time and he wishes to remain undisturbed."

"Sand…castles?"

"Yes, our Kazekage, Gaara-sama, is passionately fond of making sandcastles during the mid-afternoon. I'm afraid he'll have to call you back." And with that, she hung up, leaving the President extremely flustered.

"Great Garbage!" the President cried, slamming down the receiver and picking it up again. "If the Hidden Sand won't help me, I'll have to rely on another shinobi power to come to our aid! I'm going to phone up the Hokage of the Hidden Leaf Village!"

With that, she dialled another number, and within moments, another voice sounded on the other line.

"Hokage's office, Shizune speaking." The voice said.

"Alright now," said the President, "Listen up, Shizune-san! I need to speak to the Hokage immediately! This is the president of the country of Amerika!"

"I'm afraid that's difficult…" Shizune replied, "Tsunade-sama is unable to come to the phone at the moment."

The President grew very red in the face, trembling slightly. "Why…the…hell…can't…she?" the President shook.

"Well, it's…somewhat embarrassing…" Shizune replied awkwardly. "I'm afraid Hokage-sama is a tad stuck. You see…she's stuck in a doorway."

"What? A doorway! H-How did that happen? She's supposed to be one of the greatest shinobi powers on the continent, and you're telling me she's stuck in some door!"

"Yes, I'm afraid so…"

"How?"

"Well…Our Hokage is well known for her…ehhh…endowments…and suffice to say they can be…somewhat burdensome."

"I don't understand. Speak more simply." Said the confused President.

"Well…" Shizune hesitated. "The thing is that…many of Konoha's doorframes were not built to accommodate a woman like Tsunade-sama's…_bountiful assets._"

The others in the White House who were overhearing this conversation began to snigger and chuckle; all except the President, who apparently still did not understand.

"I have a national crisis in space on my hands, and you're pussyfooting around an explanation!" roared the President.

"P-President-san…" Shizune mustered, sounding as if she was on the verge of laughter herself, "It's not something I'd like to say outright. It's frightfully embarrassing. Tsunade-sama's…chest, it seems, has simply become to cumbersome to fit through her office door."

The White House roared with laughter.

The President quickly hung up. "Great! In our most desperate time of need, the rest of the world has abandoned us! How will we ever stop the Akatsuki now!"

"_I repeat,_" said the frantic voice of Shuckworth over the loudspeaker, "they've gone on board! The mystery astronauts have boarded the Space Hotel!"

"Stay clear of them, Shuckworth!" The President commanded, "If they are members of the Akatsuki, which I'm positive they are, they should be considered extremely dangerous."

And so, the President, along with all of her staff, and the rest of the world who was watching and listening to their televisions with their teeth on edge, waited and watched as the foreign astronauts and their strange glass space vessel entered and boarded the Space Hotel. This brought along many different emotions among the populace; much of which was extreme paranoia and fear. The thought of someone blowing up the world's first ever space hotel seemed too much.

And all anyone could do was wait and watch.

* * *

Aboard the Commuter Capsule in the very, very back in their cramped and poorly lit little nook of a room, the mysterious tall and short men waited as patiently as possible. One thing had changed about the tiny room, which was the crackling and distorted sound of a radio; which one of the two seemed to have pulled out. The two were listening eagerly to hear what exactly was causing their delay in space.

"Did you hear that!" cried the tall one, "There's some other ship out there! They're saying it might have a bomb!"

"Yes, I heard that. That's pretty unfortunate." Replied the short one.

"_Pretty unfortunate! _That's all you can say? I'd say it's a catastrophe! This could ruin our plans!"

"Calm down…" the short one breathed slowly, "…whoever they are, they can't possibly be trying to blow up the Space Hotel."

"B-but the radio said-"

"Don't believe everything the radio says, you dolt! I'm telling you, we would have heard something if people were trying to blow it up. We'd k now about it."

"Alright…" the tall one sighed uncomfortably.

An awkward silence passed between the two.

"Um…I didn't want to bring this up…" the tall one said uncomfortably.

"What?"

"…I really need to use the bathroom."


	5. Ninja from Mars

**5. Ninja from Mars**

There was nothing floating inside the Space Hotel. The gravity-making machine saw to that. So once the docking had been triumphantly achieved, Wonka-san, Hinata, Naruto, Sai, and Sakura were able to walk out of the great glass elevator and into the lobby of the Hotel.

Hinata gazed around the huge lobby. On the floor there was a thick green carpet. Twenty tremendous chandeliers hung shimmering from the ceiling. The walls were covered with valuable pictures and there were big, soft armchairs all over the place. At the far end of the room there were five elevator doors.

Nobody dared to speak. Wonka-san had warned them that every word they uttered would be picked up by the Space Control way down in Amerika, so they had better be careful. A faint humming noise came from somewhere below the floor, but that only made the silence spookier. Hinata took hold of Naruto's hand and held it tight. She wasn't sure if she liked this very much. While the room was just as big as some of the ones within the Hyuuga mansion, it was nowhere near as comfortable or inviting. The silence made everything downright creepy.

They had just broken into the greatest machine ever built by man, the property of the Country of Amerika's government, and if they were discovered and captured as they surely would in the end, what would happen to them then? Jail for life? Yes, or something even worse.

Wonka-san was writing something on a little pad. He held it up for everyone to see. It said: _Anybody hungry?_

As if on queue, Naruto's stomach let out a groan. He nodded enthusiastically, as did Sakura and Sai. Hinata felt her tummy and decided that something to eat would be good about now. Wonka-san turned the paper over. On the other side it said: _The kitchens of this hotel are loaded with luscious food; lobsters, steaks, ice cream, and more. We shall have ourselves a feast to end all feasts!_

Everyone seemed to grin with anticipation. Hinata looked up and smiled at Naruto. He grinned back, but looked a tad disappointed. Hinata wondered if this might be because Wonka-san hadn't mentioned whether or not their was ramen aboard the hotel or not. She chuckled inwardly.

Suddenly, a tremendous boom voice came out of a loudspeaker hidden somewhere in the room. "_Attention!" _boomed the voice, and Hinata jumped. So did Naruto. Everybody jumped, all except Sai, who stood motionless. _"Attention the five foreign astronauts! This is Space Control in Amerika! You are trespassing on Amerikan property! You are ordered to identify yourselves immediately! Speak now!"_

"Shhhh!" whispered Wonka-san, finger to lips.

There followed a few seconds of awful silence. Nobody moved except Wonka-san who kept saying "Shhhh!"

"_Who…are…you!" _boomed the voice from Amerika, and the whole world heard it. _"I repeat…who…are…you!" _shouted the urgent angry voice, and five hundred million people crouched in front of their television sets waiting for an answer to come from the mysterious strangers inside the Space Hotel. Even Poor Tsunade, stuck in a door frame back in Konoha, had demanded a small television set so she could watch while enduring her predicament.The television was not able to show a picture of these mysterious strangers. There was no camera in there to record the scene. The TV watchers saw nothing but the outside of a giant hotel in space. For half a minute, the entire world waited for a reply.

But no reply came.

"_Speak!" _boomed the voice, getting louder and louder and ending in a frightful shout that rattled Hinata's eardrums. _"Speak! Speak! Speak!" _Sai quickly huddled behind Sakura. Sakura put her fingers in her ears. Naruto stood petrified at the sound of the voice, latched onto by Hinata. The two of them were staring at Wonka-san and begging him with their eyes to do something. Wonka-san stood very still, and although his face looked calm, Hinata was sure his clever, inventive brain was spinning like a dynamo.

"_This is your last chance!" _boomed the voice. _"We are asking you once more…identify yourselves immediately! If you do not reply we shall be forced to regard you as dangerous enemies. We shall then press the emergency freezer switch and the temperature in the space hotel shall drop to minus one hundred degrees Celsius! All of you will be frozen instantly! You have fifteen seconds to speak! One…two…three…"_

"N-Naruto-kun," whispered Hinata as the counting continued, "we must d-do something. Quick!"

"_six," _said the voice, _"seven…eight…nine!"_

Wonka-san had not moved. He was gazing upward, still quite cool, and perfectly expressionless. Hinata and Naruto were staring at him in horror. Naruto suddenly hugged Hinata close. "Hinata…" he breathed, "There's something I want to tell you…I…"

But then, at that very moment, they saw the tiny twinkling wrinkles of a smile appear around the corners of Wonka-san's eyes. He sprang to life. He spun round on his toes, skipped a few paces across from the floor and then, in a frenzied unearthly sort of scream, he cried, "_Fimbo feezi!_"

The loudspeaker stopped counting. There was a silence. All over the world there was a silence.

Hinata's eyes were pulled away from Naruto and were riveted on Wonka-san. He was going to speak again. He was taking a deep breath. _"Bungo buni!" _he screamed. He put so much force into his voice that the effort lifted him right up onto the tips of his toes.

"_Bungo Buni_

_Dafu Duni_

_Yubee Luni!"_

Again the silence.

The next time Wonka-san spoke, the words came out so fast and sharp and loud they were like a barrage of shuriken. _"Zoonk-zoonk-zoonk-zoonk-zoonk!" _He barked. The noise echoed around the lobby of the Space Hotel. It echoed around the world.

Wonka-san now turned and faced the far end of the lobby of the Space Hotel where the loudspeaker voice had come from. He walked a few paces forward as a man would, perhaps, who wanted a more intimate conversation with his audience. And at this time, the tone was much quieter, the words came more slowly, but there was a touch of steel in every syllable:

"_Kirasuku Malibuku,_

_Weebee wize un yubee kuku!_

_Alipenda Kakamenda,_

_Pantz forldun ifno suspenda!_

_Funikika Kanderika,_

_Weebee stronga yubee weeka!_

_Popokota Borumoka,_

_Veri riski yu provoka!_

_Katikati Moons un Stars,_

_Fanfanisha Venus Mars!"_

Wonka-san paused dramatically for a few seconds. Then he took an enormous deep breath and in a wild and fearsome voice, he yelled out:

"_Kitimbibi Zoonk!_

_Fimboleezi Zoonk!_

_Gugumiza Zoonk!_

_Fumikaka Zoonk!_

_Anapolala Zoonk Zoonk Zoonk!"_

The effect of all of this on the world below was electric. In the control room in Amerika, in the White House, in palaces and cities and mountain shacks from Amerika to the Hidden Mist Village, the five hundred million people who heard that wild and fearsome voice yelling out these strange and mystic words all shivered with fear before their television sets. Everybody was turning to everybody else and saying "Did you hear that! Who are they? What language was that?"

In the President's study in the White House, Vice President Oba-san, the members of the Cabinet, the Chiefs of the Army and Navy, the sword swallower from the Wind Country, the Chief Financial advisor, and Mister Maru-chan the cat all stood tense and rigid. They were more than a little afraid, but the President kept herself cool and collected. This was mostly due to the fact that she had almost no idea what was going on. "Oba-san, oh, what will we do now?"

"I'll get you a nice warm glass of milk," said Oba-san.

"I hate the stuff," said the President. "Please don't make me drink it!"

"Then summon the Chief Interpreter!" said Oba-san.

"Summon the Chief Interpreter!" said the President, "where is he?"  
"Right here, President-sama," said the Chief Interpreter seemingly out of nowhere. The Chief Interpreter was a tiny little man with a long wispy beard and half-moon spectacles. He carried with him an enormous book which looked rather dusty.

"What language was that creature spouting up there in the Space Hotel? What sort of dialect was it?"

"I'm not sure…" the Interpreter aid slowly.

"It certainly wasn't Nihongo (Japanese); could it have been that new language taking root among our youth today? Was it that Eigo (English) dialect?"

"No maim," the Interpreter replied, "Not Nihongo or Eigo."

"Well, then, what the hell sort of language was it!" The President yelled, beginning to get angry.

"Believe me, President-sama," the interpreter shook, "it was not a language I have ever heard before."

"But I thought you knew every language in the world!"

"I do, President-sama."

"But, I mean, I was pretty sure I understood a little bit of it. How can you say you don't understand it when you know every dialect known to man?"

"I can because it is not a language known to man," the interpreter went on, "these people here, President-sama, have obviously tried to learn a few of our easier words, but the rest of the language has never been heard before on this planet."

"Screaming Scorpions!" cried the President, leaping out of her chair, "you mean to tell me that they could be coming from…from…from _somewhere else!_"

"Precisely, President-sama"

"Who knows," said the Chief Interpreter, "but did you notice how they used the words Venus and Mars?"

"Of course I noticed it! So…are you saying they're people…from Mars!"

"And Venus." Said the Interpreter.

"That could make for serious trouble!" The President cried, worried. "What do we do now, General?"

"Blow 'em up!" cried the General.

"You're always wanting to blow things up," said the President crossly. "can't you think of something _else?_"

"I like blowing things up," said the General, "Bakuhatsu! Ka-Boom! Whish-Bang! _Woomph-woomph!_"

"Baka!" cried Oba-san. "If you blow these people up, Mars and Venus will declare war on us!"

"Quite right, Oba-san" said the President. "We'd be troculated like turkeys, every one of us! We'd be mashed like potatoes!"

"I'll take 'em on!" shouted the Chief of the Army.

"Urusei! Shut up!" snapped Oba-san, "You're fired!"

"Hooray!" said all the other generals. "Well done, Vice-President-sama, maim!"

Oba-san said, "We've _got _to treat these fellows gently. The one who spoke just now sounded extremely cross. We've got to be polite to them, butter them up, make them happy. The last thing we want is to be invaded by men from Mars. You've got to talk to them directly, President-sama, as the new leader of this planet outside of those dreadful shinobi powers! We've got to make another direct radio link with the Space Hotel! Hurry!"

* * *

Meanwhile, in the darkest, dankest, most cramped back area of the Commuter Capsule, the two mysterious men listened to the radio aghast, not daring to speak. They were both exceptionally surprised by the bizarre language of the people now inside of the Space Hotel.

"So…" the tall one finally said, "Now we have to contend with space people from, like, Mars or something!"

The shorter one said nothing, for he was deep in thought.

His silence was a sign of absolute concentration.

…Or maybe he was just asleep.


	6. Invitation to the White House!

_Author's Note:_

_Hey there. I'm finally back on task with writing this thing, averaging about a chapter every four days or so. So far the story is keeping pretty close to the original…but new, fancy, ninja-esque things are on the way. Huzzah!_

**6. Unexpected! Invitation to the Whitehouse!**

"The President of the Country of Amerika will now address you!" announced the loudspeaker voice in the lobby of the Space Hotel.

Sakura and Sai's ears perked up at the sound of this. Hinata took her fingers out of her ears.

"President? Who the heck is that?" Naruto wondered aloud. Wonka-san quickly clapped a hand over his mouth.

"Shhh," he said, "Listen."

"Dear friends," said the unknown voice of the President over the loudspeaker. "Dear, _dear _friends! Welcome to 'Space Hotel U.S.A.' Greetings to the brave astronauts from Mars and Venus…"

"M-Mars and Venus?" whispered Hinata, "You mean he thinks we're from…"

"Shhh-shhh-ssshhhh!" said Wonka-san. He was doubled up with silent laughter, shaking all over and hopping on one foot to the other.

"You have come a long way," said the President, continuing, "so why don't you come down just a tiny bit further and pay _us _a visit down here on our humble little planet. I invite all five of you to stay down here in Amerika as my honoured guests. You could land your wonderful glass space machine of yours on the lawn in the back behind the White House. We shall have a red carpet out and ready. It'll be great! We can eat cheese hamburgers, play baseball, um, have…apple pie? Either way, I anxiously await your reply."

There was a click and the President went off the air.

"Who the heck was that woman?" Naruto whispered to Hinata.

"That's the leader of the Country of Amerika!" she whispered back, "The people who built this hotel. They're inviting us back to their c-country!"

Sakura looked excited. "This is fantastic!" she whispered, "We're invited to the White House as honored guests!"

Wonka-san was still shaking with laughter, but he motioned everyone around him so that they could whisper without being overheard by the hidden microphones.

"They're scared to death," he whispered. "They won't be bothering us any more now. So let's have our feast we were talking about and afterward we can explore the hotel."

"Wait, aren't we going to the White House?" whispered Sakura. "I want to go and meet President Giriguraso."

"Um…no!" Wonka-san said, still holding back a giggle. "Everybody down there thinks we're from Mars…and I'm pretty sure you don't look like a Mars-ish person. They'd know at once that they'd been fooled. We'd be arrested before you could say 'konichi wa'."

Wonka-san was right. There was no question of accepting the President's invitation and they all knew it.

"B-but we've got t-to say _something_ to him," Hinata whispered, "She must be sitting in the White House right now, waiting f-for an answer."

"Make an excuse" suggested Naruto.

"Tell him we're otherwise engaged" said Sai.

"Ask him for a rain check" said Sakura.

"Yeah, you're probably right…" Wonka-san said, "It'd be awfully rude of me to ignore an invitation like that." He paced around the hotel lobby for a few seconds, thinking.

"…Alright…I'm just gonna scare him off. That sounds like a plan." He said triumphantly.

Hinata and Naruto made a face. Already, thoughts of the obvious repercussions were racing through their minds.

"He's gonna get us in trouble…" Naruto sighed.

"Y-yeah…b-but I'm sure it'll t-turn out alright…" Hinata whispered. She reached out and held Naruto's hand. She remembered that at the moment they thought they were doomed; Naruto had wanted to tell her something important. She kept wondering what it was…but given the circumstance, she decided not to press it.

Standing close to the receiving microphone, Wonka-san began to speak in a very deep, loud, devilish way:

"_In the quelchy quaggy sogmire,_

_In the mashy midious harshland,_

_At the witchy hour of gloomness_

_All the grobes come oozing home._

_So start to run! Oh skid and daddle,_

_Through the slubber slush and sossel!_

_Skip jump hop and try to skaddle!_

_All the grobes are on the roam!"_

In her study two hundred and forty kilometers below, the President was as white as the White House. "Oh my God!" she cried, "I think they're after us!"

"Oh _please _let me blow them up!" cried the ex-Chief of the Army.

"Urusei!" shouted Oba-san, "Go stand in the corner!"

In the lobby of the space hotel, Wonka-san had merely paused in order to think up another verse, and he was about to start off again when a frightful piercing scream stopped him cold. The screamer was Sakura. She was standing in place and pointing with a shaking finger at the elevators at the far end of the lobby. She screamed a second time, still pointing, and all eyes were turned towards the elevators. The door of the one on the left was sliding open slowly and the watchers could clearly see that there was something…something thick…something brown…something not exactly brown, but greenish-brown…something with slimy skin and large eyes…squatting in the elevator!


End file.
